Dear diary,

Today in 6 sentences:

Guy is woken up by loud, discordant, singing (wailing is a more apt word).
Guy goes to class only to suffer a diarrhea attack.
Guy leaves class to go um… unload.
Guy falls down hard on slippery floor.
Falling down instigates a certain eventuality of the condition of diarrhea.

I don’t want to talk about it.

Yours regrettably,