Dear Diary,

Do you ever look at the kind of tweets that pop up on your timeline and wonder why the hell you’re following some people? Just unfollow them, you say? There are rules.

Twettiquette 101:

  • You cannot unfollow someone who’s following you that isn’t a celebrity. If you are colleagues, classmates, lab partners, heck if you so much as recognize this someone you can’t unfollow him if he’s following you. I mean forget the fact that you never really talk in person, or that you quite obviously have nothing in common, or that he only tweets about sex.
  • The same thing applies to anyone who suddenly starts following you; they expect a follow back for some reason. I guess people take pride in having a large number of followers. Even if they won’t ever @mention you.
  • The moment you decide you want to unfollow people you frankly don’t give a toss about, you must delete your account and leave Twitter “because it sucks”. … After this you create a new account like stud067 under the name Mmbrikisi Gasogbedre and follow people that matter to you 🙂

Praying Twitter bears me no animus,