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Dear Indifferent Diary,

I walked most of the way to work today, as I often do for health, my spirit and emotional wellness*. The usual routine is:

  1. Pick my music playlist
  2. Get out of the house
  3. Lip-sync to my music all the way to the office (I suspect this is why people cross the street to avoid me. I suppose I should comb my hair once in a while. Meh.)

Last month I was supposed to start dieting. That got absolutely nowhere as I had given up by midday of day one, sadly. However I drew inspiration to get back on diet track as soon as spiritually possible from a man I saw crossing the road. Who did I see that would inspire me to diet and work out? Surely an icon of such raw masculinity at its physical peak would be cause enough to make me feel like a waste of carbon atoms of a man. My friend tells me she wants a man who is, as she puts it, SSM: sexy, slim, macho. No curves, no bends. I completely get her.

I looked at him. I grimaced. I sucked in my stomach a bit. I blinked. I rubbed my eyes. I blinked again. … … Have you ever seen a guy so pot bellied that he looked pregnant? A man so fat that he waddles?

I am going for a run as soon as I get off work.

Futurama Fry

Yeah. Yeah. Definitely the latter.

Resolute,

Cheese.

*Okay so that’s complete bullshit; I have no money (._. )

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