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Dear Diary,

I find it odd my beard is attracting so much attention. Well… No. No I don’t; I just had no better way of making my beard the subject of this entry. I do however tend to elicit similar comments wherever I go though, sadly my people aren’t very original.

“Are you Osama Bin Laden?”

“Taliban!”

“You took your afro and put it under your chin!”

And banality upon banality, ad nauseam. My goodness. But I am feeling nice today, so I will answer the most common question of why. So in case you wondered why someone would keep a beard, here you go:

1. People will not cross you in a waakye line. As a matter of fact, you might be pushed to the front of the line. People also give you room to walk in a crowded street, hawkers and street peddlers call you ‘wɔfa’ (means ‘uncle’), and trɔtrɔ drivers’ apprentices don’t pretend like they forgot they owe you 20 pesewas (about $0.10). You generally want this to happen.

2. I’m about 5″9′, 160 pounds (73kg) and I’m a CS major. What this means: I’m about as intimidating as a feather duster. But throw a beard and a scowl in there, and drive a pickup truck and presto: instant badassification. Random people will even greet you in traffic. It is mind blasting.

3. It may not make you popular with today’s woman, true, but it will make you popular with the guys. And everyone wants street cred, yes? Yes?

4. 

Enough Said.

 

Pleased,

Cheese.

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