It would make far more sense for me to be studying for my exams right now, rather than typing here. Yes, studying, not revising; revising would mean I have been through my course material at least once over. But this isn’t about my study habits, it’s about my exam pointers! I have this extensively documented and I feel I just have to share a few of them:
Situation: Alpha Prime
There is a question before me and the professor has handled the topic in class, but I simply do not know the answer to it.
Lie. Lie like you cut yourself and worship Lucifer himself. Throw in a bunch of references, quotes and annotate/footnote stuff like no one’s business; if there’s one thing we’ve learned from Wikipedia, it’s that everyone believes annotated articles.
Situation: DEFCON Omega
The exam in it’s entirety is filled with questions on topics the professor has never once taught, mentioned, mumbled or even hinted at, and the sudden reality of failure is sinking into your gut like a bad batch of bambara beans and runny eggs.
Stab the prof.
Situation: May Day
It’s a multiple choice test and choices A through D for almost all the questions are all correct answers to the posed questions.
It’s a multiple choice exam and none of the choices have the correct answer.
See solution to DEFCON OMEGA exam protocol
Next time on Dear Diary: How to properly dispose of a dead body.
Yesterday morning I heard from a very reliable source that the University Teachers’ Association of Ghana has gone on strike citing non-payment of salaries or no running water at home or something, as the instigator for their action.
But, dear Internet diary, you know that I, for one, do not believe in strikes for whatever reason it may be. You see, in all things, one must look at all parties being affected. The school calendar will be set back, graduation will be affected and there will be arrears in our syllabi for the semester.
Why? Why should this happen? We mustn’t stand for it! What we have to do is…
Oh, who am I kidding: I DON’T HAVE TO GO TO CLASS! ^______________^
[Webcomic courtesy of XKCD ]